Resiliency: How to (Not Lose Your $h!t) Thrive as an Executive Assistant in The Face of Adversity

Written By: Melinda Vail Goodnight

We all want to be that assistant who can leap tall buildings while tracking down their Leader because he’s late for a meeting—one he’s leading—when the meeting time changed an hour ago, and the CEO and CFO will be in the room. You’ve tried his cell, no luck. Maybe you wait outside the men’s room (Melba Duncan) until you’re getting side-eyes from others exiting said restroom. Then you finally spot him, deep in a hallway conversation with someone who gives you their own side-eye when you interrupt. 

Moments like these are enough to drive any Executive Assistant (EA) to the brink! Honestly, would it be too much to put Life360 on their phone so we can track them? (Cue more side-eyes.) If you’re an assistant, you feel my pain, my frustration, and the necessity of walking back into your office as though absolutely nothing happened. That’s resiliency.

At its core, resiliency is the ability to adapt, recover, and thrive in the face of challenges, setbacks, or adversity. It involves staying strong and maintaining a positive outlook, even when everything seems to go sideways. In a Fortune 500 company, where an EA’s role is multifaceted and high-stakes, resiliency isn’t just a bonus—it’s a requirement.

These reminders can help you navigate the chaos, because let’s face it: you do hard things every day.

Resiliency Broken Down

Resiliency involves three main aspects:

1. Emotional Strength: Managing stress, remaining calm under pressure, and bouncing back from setbacks. 
2. Mental Flexibility: Adjusting to new situations, solving problems, and finding creative solutions. 
3. Growth Mindset: Learning from every experience and using those lessons to become stronger.

Here’s how these principles manifest in an EA’s world and some actionable strategies to build resiliency:

1.  Handling Constant Change

The Reality: Leadership schedules change at the drop of a hat. Meetings shift, travel plans get overhauled, and urgent requests come flying in. 
My Reality: I try to embrace it! Make a game of it in my head: How fast can I resolve this? What’s my best time? 
How Resiliency Helps: Staying calm ensures productivity and prevents unnecessary delays.

How to Build It:

•       Prepare for the Unexpected: Always have contingency plans for meetings, travel, and events.

•       Stay Curious, Not Resistant: See changes as opportunities to improve or refine processes.

•       Embrace Technology: Use scheduling tools or apps that make managing shifting priorities easier.

2.  Managing Competing Priorities

The Reality: An EA often juggles demands from their leader, team members, and stakeholders—all of which feel urgent. 
My Reality: Unless it’s the CEO or Audit Chair, everything else is negotiable. 
How Resiliency Helps: It enables prioritization, critical thinking, and focus, even in the face of chaos.

How to Build It:

•       Schedule Daily Priority Alignment Check-Ins: Spend 5–10 minutes with your leader at the start of each day to review the day’s priorities. This allows you to recalibrate if urgent, unforeseen tasks arise.

•       Develop a “Drop-Everything” Protocol: Know how to identify and address top-priority items. Be in alignment with your Leader on this. Plan: it will happen.

•       Practice Assertive Communication: Learn how to diplomatically say “no” or “not now” when tasks threaten to derail critical priorities. Offer alternatives or set realistic timelines to manage expectations.

3.  Maintaining Composure Under Pressure

The Reality: Executives often face high-stakes situations, and the EA is their support system. A resilient EA remains a calm and stabilizing presence, even in moments of tension. 
My Reality: When I want to say it the most, is when I need to say it the least. It Keeps me in Control and Protects the Relationship. 
How Resiliency Helps: Composure allows for effective problem-solving and reassures those around you.

How to Build It:

•       Master the Art of Pausing: Take a deep breath or count to three before addressing the issue.

•       Reframe Negativity: Turn “This is impossible” into “What’s my first step to fix this?”

•       Normalize Checking Out Briefly: If emotions run high, excuse yourself for a short moment: “I’m going to step away for five minutes to gather everything we need.” This allows you to regroup and return with clarity.

4.  Navigating Difficult Personalities

The Reality: EAs interact with diverse people, some of whom may be demanding or have unrealistic expectations. 
My Reality: I don’t have to attend every fight I’m invited to. Very few people are worth my peace. Pick your battles well. ALWAYS remember your character and your integrity. 
How Resiliency Helps: Professionalism and diplomacy preserve relationships and productivity.

How to Build It:

•       Communicate Clearly: Anticipate questions and provide concise updates, along with documentation.

•       Establish Boundaries: Set realistic expectations early and stick to them. Always take the high road. Be firm, not confrontational.

•       Reflect and Learn: After a tough interaction, evaluate what worked, what didn’t, and how you can approach similar situations better in the future. 

5.  Recovering from Mistakes or Setbacks

The Reality: Mistakes happen. What matters is how you recover. 
My Reality: I’ve learned more from making mistakes than successes. Own them and move on. 
How Resiliency Helps: A growth mindset fosters trust and continual improvement.

How to Build It:

•       Take Accountability: Own your mistakes and focus on solutions.

•       Seek Knowledge: Attend workshops, read books, or listen to podcasts about leadership and resilience.

•       Prevent Repeat Issues: Document lessons learned and refine processes to avoid future missteps.

6.  Thriving in High-Visibility Roles

The Reality: EAs often contribute to major events, board meetings, or public-facing functions. These roles come with scrutiny and pressure. 
My Reality: It’s part of the job. The more visibility I have, the more chance I must shine, but the opposite is true also—prepare like hell. 
How Resiliency Helps: Confidence and focus allow you to shine under scrutiny.

How to Build It:

•       Build Strong Relationships and Trust: Be proactive in anticipating others' needs and providing timely support.

•       Understand the Bigger Picture: Align your actions with organizational goals.

•       Embrace Learning Opportunities: Stay curious and seek ways to expand your knowledge and skillset. Build a strong network.

7.  Staying Positive Through Long Hours

The Reality: Whether it’s a quarterly report or a major event, long hours can test anyone’s endurance. 
My Reality: I remind myself it’s not forever. And if it is, I need to reevaluate my position. 
How Resiliency Helps: A positive attitude keeps you energized and motivated.

How to Build It:

•       Prioritize Self-Care: Stay hydrated, take breaks, and set boundaries to recharge.

•       Find a Support System: Lean on fellow EAs who understand your challenges.

•       Celebrate Success: Acknowledge your contributions and reflect on what you’ve accomplished.

Final Thoughts

Resiliency isn’t just about surviving the chaos—it’s about thriving in it. Being an EA means being adaptable, resourceful, and relentless, no matter what comes your way. While the role may come with side-eyes and impossible expectations, it also comes with moments of triumph, deep trust, and the satisfaction of knowing you’re indispensable.

So, take a deep breath, find your balance, and show the world what “leaping tall buildings” really looks like. You’ve got this!