How to Be an Effective Leader

Want to boost your leadership skills and impact? CEO and former executive assistant Tareka Wheeler reveals her strategies for leading with empathy and influence.

Recorded at EA Ignite Spring 2024 and produced by the American Society of Administrative Professionals - ASAP. Learn more and submit a listener question at asaporg.com/podcast.

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Leah Warwick: Hi, everyone. I'm Leah Warwick, and you're listening to "The Admin Edge." This episode was recorded at EA Ignite Spring 2024 in Nashville, with guest Tareka Wheeler and interviewer Rae Morlan. Rae serves on the ASAP Advisory Board, and Tareka is the founder and CEO of T. Wheeler Strategic Solutions. Tareka presented on project and event management at EA Ignite. Let's listen in to Tareka and Rae's conversation about what it takes to be a leader, and much more. Rae speaks first.

00:00:41                     

Rae Morlan: Welcome to the podcast.

Tareka Wheeler: Thank you. Good to be here.

Rae Morlan: I'm so glad to see you. Can you give us a little background on how you became a CEO of your own company? I know you went to St. Edward's University for your Bachelor, but tell me a little bit about that journey that you were on to now owning your own company and doing it all for yourself.

00:01:02                     

Tareka Wheeler: It's so interesting you used the word "journey," because that's what it was. I actually graduated with my undergraduate degree as an adult. I was in my early 30s.

Rae Morlan: Good for you!

Tareka Wheeler: Super exciting, right? But it was a journey. I was a mom. I was a wife. And my kids were all elementary school going into middle school age, so it was definitely a journey. I knew then, though, that there was something more. There was something different that I wanted to do. I actually was an executive assistant. I was supporting a chief nursing officer for a children's hospital in Texas, and I knew that my next thing was going to be a bit different, and I wanted to be sure that I finished my education. So, I did that and I went from EA to a coalition coordinator, almost like a project coordinator role, and started to see [that] my world started to change a bit.

I kept going. I became a director of programs for a global nonprofit. I went into management consulting and started working in the government and contracting space and doing strategic communications work. And then I got into heavy project management and said, "Hmm, this is awesome. This is interesting. I can do this." But at the same time, I still wanted something a little more, and I wanted to kind of build that legacy out. That was beyond what I was doing for other companies. 

00:02:19

Right around the pandemic, I started my LLC. I started T. Wheeler Strategic Solutions, which is a career development and consulting firm, and I became the founder and CEO. Ever since, I've really been building that and growing what that looks like externally to my customer and my clients. 

Now, I am still operating in my corporate job. I'm still in a nine-to-five, but I am building a company and an infrastructure and a legacy for my family that is within T. Wheeler Strategic Solutions. It's been a journey. 

Rae Morlan: That is so incredible. We talk about that glass ceiling and everything and you have blown the heck out of that, lady, and I love that. I love to see the powerful women step up and do it. And we can do it. Anybody can do this.

Tareka Wheeler: Absolutely.

00:02:19                     

Rae Morlan: Okay, so we're going to back up a little bit to your EA (executive assistant) career. You had mentioned the pandemic. I'm really glad you were not a CNO's EA during the pandemic. That would've been a little rough. God bless all of you that are.

Tareka Wheeler: Shout out to 'em.

Rae Morlan: But the pandemic taught us to do our job very differently than what we do now. What are your thoughts on leading those remote teams? How do we keep them engaged? How do we still lead them down this journal that we're all on?

00:03:39                     

Tareka Wheeler: That's such a great question, because I see and hear from so many leaders [about] how challenging it has been to lead remote teams, mainly because it's a different way of thinking. You don't necessarily have the hallway conversations anymore. I can't just pop into your office or come over to your desk. I have to send you an email, or I have to send you a Teams message or a chat of some sort.

I think what that has done is it's taking us away from some of those common practices of really good, strategic and effective communication because we're no longer in a position where I can just come to you directly. 

00:04:15

So from a leadership perspective and the way I believe that we have to lead those teams is through a very intentional and empathetic point of view, meaning, if you know that it is important for you to understand how your team is receiving information, it's not just about them hearing it, but you want to see their body language. So, I'll tell you, as a leader, sometimes I say, "Cameras on," and I want everyone to know that this is a camera-on meeting. 

It's because it's one thing for you to hear me, but I need to truly visualize how you are taking in that information. If we were in a conference room, you could do that, right? 

00:04:49                     

Rae Morlan: Exactly. That's a great point because you're right; the body language is so telling, and the facial expressions are so telling. I am told often I need a better filter on my facial expressions because they're just going to be out there. [laughter] That's a great point: We are quick to turn those cameras off and just not deal with it.

Tareka Wheeler: Right. And it takes away, I think, an element of our ability to be effective communicators when we do that. I'm not saying all meetings need to have cameras on, but I think that's a piece that was so natural. It was a norm when we were all in the office. There was no – you couldn't just shut your door and pull down a shade in front of your face in a meeting. So, we need to recognize that. And then how do we account for it?

And then I think we have to be empathetic to the change and what happens with a remote worker. They are in a different environment, whether they're in a coffee shop, they're in the new home office that they have constructed, they are in a shared work-share environment – whatever it may be – understanding the dynamics of the remote worker, I believe, is important. 

00:05:51

Then, when you're tasking things or you are looking for feedback or insights, you're looking at the whole person and the environment and the dynamics that they have, and you're taking that into account in the way that you're constructing your business, in the way that you are building out work plans, in the way that you are tasking, and in the way that you are leading. 

It's important for me. I'm a huge proponent of work-life harmony. I think work-life balance is almost impossible to achieve. I can't split myself 50/50. I think work-life harmony and integration is so important. In this day and age, with so much remote work happening and leaders having to lead teams from afar, we have to be mindful of work-life integration. Your team is no longer driving into the office. They are waking up and they're going from bed to office, and they're in the same environment in which they conduct their personal activities. 

00:06:46

If we want to prevent things like burnout or overwhelm, we have to think about how we are tasking, how we are constructing our project plans, how we are putting strategic priorities forth as leaders, and ensure that we are not, quite frankly, overworking our teams and giving them these unrealistic expectations, which is causing burnout and overwhelm. 

Rae Morlan: Yeah, because we used to have that commute time and it's gone.

Tareka Wheeler: It's gone. People are working during the commute time, right?

Rae Morlan: You log on and 5:00 is –

Tareka Wheeler: 1,000%.

Rae Morlan: Great points. Thank you. Next question is: How do you effectively partner with your CEO or supervisor on his or her buy-in to help you become a leader? How do you help them help you, I guess?

Tareka Wheeler: For sure. I think EAs – and I've talked about this here at EA Ignite – have incredible power and influence when we change our mindset.

00:07:44

If you're working for a CEO or a leader in any capacity, you are also at the top. You have access and influence and insights that other individuals, even their direct reports, do not have. You sit in a very special place. 

So, in that, I think you become a strategic partner with your leadership. You're an EA, yes, but you're also a strategic partner because you can contribute at such a higher level. And you say, "Okay, well, how do I advance? How do I become and really embody the strategic partner?" Communication, I think, is key. You have to schedule time and be intentional and talk about, "Here's what I understand your priorities are. Here's what I understand the priorities are and the goals are of the company. Here's where I see my role and what I've been doing, but here's what I want to do and how I believe it can contribute to the ultimate bottom line or to the strategic plan." 

And I think we forget that when we're working in this environment, especially as an EA, and we're in this place where we're supporting and we're serving, that it's not just about the work that we get done every day. It's about the value that we're bringing. 

Rae Morlan: That we bring to the table, yeah. 

Tareka Wheeler: It's about the value, and you bring greater value when you can connect what you're doing every single day to the goals and the priorities of that organization and of your leadership. And they will appreciate that.

00:09:03

So you talk about help them help you. That's a great way to do it. You share your goals. You share your insights. You share what you believe you can do to advance the company's goals and strategies, and then they will say, "Well, wow." [laughter] 

Rae Morlan: "She put some thought into this. Where's she been all my life," right?

Tareka Wheeler: They'll say, "Wow." Then you can have a conversation that starts to talk about positioning you for advancement because you're showing that you're thinking differently.

Rae Morlan: More strategically. Great, love that. To that end, kind of along the same lines, how do you get the respect and buy-in from the other direct reports? I know in my role sometimes, [there's] the "Mm, don't make me room with her" kind of person. We want to complain about them. We don't want to hang with you. You know how that goes. [laughter]

Tarka Wheeler: Yes.

00:09:58                     

Rae Morlan: How do you navigate the other direct reports and their buy-in into your leadership, and that you are part of that team?

Tareka Wheeler: Right. I think there's two parts to that. 1) We have to shift the culture. I think the shifting of the culture starts with having a direct conversation with your leadership, that CEO, that VP, that chief operating officer, and letting them know, "Here's the culture shift that I'm trying to achieve, and here's why. I need your help and your buy-in to help make that help. I need you to position outwardly that I am a member of this leadership team. Yes, I'm your executive assistant, absolutely. But I want to be your strategic partner as well, which means I am a part of the greater team, and I can best help support you and your direct reports when we all understand that I am a part of the team." So, I think that conversation has to be had.

00:10:52

The second part of that is how we engage with direct reports. I think a lot of times it can be a little contentious. [laughter] 

Rae Morlan: We're the gatekeepers. Sorry, but I have to tell you no.

Tareka Wheeler: And it is what it is. I think that it's, honestly – and I actually did this. when I was the EA for our chief nursing officer, I set up meetings. I had one-on-one meetings with his direct reports. Every director that reported to him, I had my own one-on-one meetings with them, because we needed to build a relationship. Right now, I'm just the person who tells you no. I'm the person who lets you know what you can do, what you can't do, when he is available, when he's not available. We are never having an intentional relationship that we can build upon together.

Rae Morlan: That's great.

Tareka Wheeler: And I've got to build trust with you. You need to build trust with me. That has nothing to do with you reporting to my CEO or to my chief nursing officer. It has everything to do with our relationship. I found that once I had a relationship with his direct reports, it shifted their perception and their interaction with me.

Rae Morlan: Great, great idea. I love that idea.

00:12:02

Okay, so onto the next one. We received a listener question from Donna. Thanks, Donna, for tuning in today. She's been an admin for more than four decades. 

Tareka Wheeler: Ooh, Donna. Go, girl. [laughter]

Rae Morlan: That is impressive.

Tareka Wheeler: Yes, it is.

Rae Morlan: How have you done this for 40 years, girl? Okay, anyway. Donna works for a large company with ever-changing systems and processes. She writes: "I lead an admin team with a pretty large organization. How do I conduct meetings on relevant topics for the company, such as new systems, processes, etc., without the meeting turning into a complaint session?"

00:12:43                     

Tareka Wheeler: I love that. First of all, Donna, shout out, girl.

Rae Morlan: 40 years!

Tareka Wheeler: 40 years?

Rae Morlan: Who does things for 40 years anymore?

Tareka Wheeler: Donna.

Rae Morlan: Donna does. Nobody else.

Tareka Wheeler: But I love it and shout out to you. That's amazing. I think change is something that every organization grapples with. It's an ever-changing target, I think, when we're trying to keep up with it. And so, I think we have to change our relationship with change a little bit, and we have to help others do the same.

I can absolutely see how you are leading a meeting and it can turn into: "Great, we hear you. But…" It becomes that. And I think we have to do a couple of things at the top of any meeting. We have to set the goals and the objectives. What is the desired outcome of this meeting? I love that you're even in a position to where you are facilitating the meeting and the conversation. There clearly is a lot of trust there for you to do that, which, of course, because you've been there for 40 years, so you've got it. 

I think that once you set the tone at the beginning of the meeting – we're so used to just jumping into an agenda. We just jump in. Agenda item number one and then we jump in. 

00:13:56

Set the tone: Here's what the meeting is about. Here's the desired outcomes. And then leave time for questions, comments, and concerns. Be intentional and be empathetic that everyone in the room is not bought into the topic that you're discussing, right? But you still have to discuss it and there's an expectation for shifts and change, right? This is where I think EAs have an incredible opportunity to dive into change management. 

Change management does not start because the change is happening. Change management starts when you know how it's going to impact those who directly have to be engaged with that change, right? 

Someone says, "Oh, there's a change happening. Let's announce it." No. You have to think about the end user. I think you have to give a space for comments, concerns, challenges, grievances. Put it on the agenda. Give the identified time for them, and then take care of business in the first half of the meeting. 

00:14:51                     

Rae Morlan: Great idea. You can use that last half to then file it back up the ladder again, saying, "Hey, we just need to make sure you guys thought of all of things that are going to mess with my day, and all of these things that are going to change."

Tareka Wheeler: Spot on.

Rae Morlan: I have one more question. I stalked you on Facebook.

Tareka Wheeler: Uh-on. [laughter]

Rae Morlan: Just a little bit. Not a lot. My question is: You've traveled to a lot of states and countries, but you're missing my South Dakota. How can I get you to South Dakota?

00:15:29                     

Tareka Wheeler: I need an invite. I've never been to South Dakota or North Dakota, for that matter.

Rae Morlan: Or Iowa?

Tareka Wheeler: Or Iowa.

Rae Morlan: You can find this all online, people.

Tareka Wheeler: I know, I know, but I would love to. I would love to visit that way. I actually have a really dear colleague from the past that, if I went to North Dakota, I could definitely see her. I'm trying to think of who I know in South Dakota.

Rae Morlan: Well, you know me.

Tareka Wheeler: I know you. It's settled.

00:15:50                     

Rae Morlan: And I can get you to Mount Rushmore and all the other fun stuff that we have.

Tareka Wheeler: Oh, my gosh. Let's do it. I'd love to.

Rae Morlan: Well, thank you so much for your time today. I know you've got to run and lead another session here shortly, which I can't wait to sit in on. I look forward to seeing you soon.

00:16:06                     

Tareka Wheeler: Same.

Rae Morlan: Take care.

Tareka Wheeler: You, too.

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Leah Warwick: Thank you for listening to "The Admin Edge," produced by the American Society of Administrative Professionals. Original music and audio editing by Warwick Productions, with audio and video production at EA Ignite by 5Tool Productions. If you liked this podcast, please leave us a nice review and five stars wherever you listen to podcasts, and subscribe. If you'd like to submit a listener question, you can do so on our website at asaporg.com/podcast.